Do you have a tendency of saying 'yes' to situations you do not wish to face?
We have difficulties with boundaries, especially with giving our time, consent and effort. We have a hard time communicating the word “no.” This often leads to exhaustion, stress and regret.
Note: I am not a psychotherapist. I've just observed various reasons why I and many others have had a difficulty in knowing when and how to say 'no'. I recommend these two ways to practice saying 'no'.
1. Set your priorities:
It personally helps to spell out my top priorities in life. What I say 'yes' to will undoubtedly impact my future. This is why, I learned how to quickly assess a request so I wouldn’t have to default into saying 'yes' when I wished to say 'no'.
After identifying your priorities, ask yourself “Is taking this decision connected to my top priorities?” If it isn’t, I advise waiting and considering your decision, before answering with a 'yes'.
For example, I love my friends. They are a significant priority in my life. But they are a different priority than my wellbeing… and rightly so.
So now, when a friend asks you for something, practice considering the impact of saying yes on your life. It will certainly be hard in the beginning, but when you start honoring your priorities, I assure that you will feel more peaceful and confident.
One great way to get clear on your priorities is to write them down!
2. Seeking outside approval: In my experience, saying 'yes' is the result of an imagined scenario that forces me to say 'yes.' I feel obligated to say yes in order to stay in the good graces of someone.
We often make ourselves believe that we are not controlled by the urge of wanting to be liked. Unfortunately, the truth is that many of us have placed our value on the opinions of others. We sacrifice ourselves by fear of disappointing someone else.
I've come to realize that making my worth dependent on what others think of me, is not allowing me to take care of myself. After that realization, I began putting my effort into my wellbeing, identity and growth.
One great way to practice self-care is to voice positive affirmations and to acknowledge from whom comes your worth.
Hope this helped 🙃
- Sofia Fakhoury
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